Confessions Of A Lonely Mind (an anti-climatic INTRODUCTION) - Raina

Synopsis: I have always been somebody who has always been around people, laughing, joking and having fun! I thought these feelings would remain once I left home to step into a new life! Initially it did, but slowly as time passed the same people who once felt incomplete without me being there, are doing just fine without my presence ! Is it me?? or my attitudes that led them to move away from me? or have the new people in their lives become more important?? so much so that I'm shunned each time I open my mouth to speak,...ignored when I want to add on to a conversation or simply say something...I cant express my emotion through anger, it has always been writing...and if that is not permissible, I channelize my anger through tears....I'm called a "cry baby" - someone who cries for smallest of reasons...what people don't realize is for them the reasons maybe small and petty, but it holds an entirely different connotation for someone who values even the smallest of emotions...The once chirpy Raina has sombered down.. I sit amongst them trying to be a part of the crowd I once called my own, but now amidst the crowd I'm all alone.... on the Boulevard of broken dreams....Maybe its a part of growing up, or simply a process of becoming an introvert that I once was in school..who knows??? I share today through this post the Confessions Of A Lonely Mind....

Hate, anger, frustration,

How does one survive?

Confusion, distraught, depression.

Why even be alive?

Screaming, running, sobbing,

Everyone is swarming.

Yelling, crying, dying.

Does someone really care?

I sit alone now,

all by myself with no one else.

They've all left again for good,

And I am once again alone.

I only have friends when

They need a place to hide.

Does that make them love me?

"My basement's always open. . ."

I sit alone again and cry,

For the friends I wish I had,

But will never see.

All I get are words, in threes.

They speak to me softly,

Worry in their faces.

Do they care?

Or are their worry worthless?

It hurts at the end,

As we all know, but

After that we don't

Know how to go.

Why stay here where it's sad,

When you can live happy,

No longer alone,

No longer afraid.....